Jeff Corrigan: welcome to Habit Masters. I'm Sheldon. I'm Jeff.
Sheldon Mills: And this is our hundredth episode . Woo. And we have a good one for you, Jeff and I. So we were supposed to be working on our ebook, but this idea, , we were talking about inflamed us so much. We just, we excited, we specifically chose this to be our hundredth episode cuz we feel this is really important.
Jeff Corrigan: Yeah. I would say in the overall goal of this episode. It, it fits perfectly with the mission of Habit Masters, which is to help you live your . Best life, right? It's like by giving you tools to build in that consistency and commitment that you need to just live your dreams and dream bigger and live that higher level of experience throughout your life.
Because if you're gonna be here on this blue marble floating through space, why not make it the best possible experience?
Sheldon Mills: Okay, so here's this quote by Jim Roh. We're gonna start with, and then Jeff's got a, actually a really cool story he is gonna share. Life is not just the passing of time. Life is a collection of experiences and their intensity.
I've been thinking about this a lot LA lately, especially as my, my kids are getting older. My oldest. Freshman in high school and it, I had this epiphany like, I've got like three years before he is gone. You know what I mean? Not gone like, never really gone, hopefully Right. , but you know what it's like in my home, able to make an impression, able to create that relationship that hopefully will endure a lifetime.
And my, you know, all my older kids and especially my, my, my family, Jeff and I had this conversation about like
Jeff Corrigan: if it doesn.
Sheldon Mills: Grow our relationships. Like why are we even doing it? Like, what's the point if their goals are ambitious. The, the things that we're, we're trying to do are making our life happier by helping our relat relationships.
Like
Jeff Corrigan: what's the point? Yeah. Like if it's getting everything that we do day in and day out should be building. Our familiar relationships, our friendships, those types of things. And if they're not, if they're getting in the way of those things, then we should really question whether we should do them at all, whether they're really worth it.
Because we, what we've found and what we felt like is the sugar and spice of life is really in the relationships we hold. Yeah. Like those, those people that we care about and that care about us and that we trust and that trust us. That's what makes life worth living.
Sheldon Mills: So, we're gonna talk all today about, showing up with pep showing up in life. And you do that by having, a little more pep and we'll explain what that means. But Jeff, the story, the good one from Jim roh, I believe hits from, right?
Yeah.
Jeff Corrigan: So this, this story really comes down to the idea that we can. Create experiences rather than just going through the routine. Like we, so much of life is a routine and we're just kind of following it. You know, we drive the same way home from work every day. We eat a lot of the same food throughout the week.
We hang out with the same people most of the time, and that's the good part, right? But it's it it can get a little bit routine or mundane. It doesn't take that much to make ordinary, everyday moments into lasting memories. And this is a, so Jim Ron was once giving a, talk about this exact experience.
He's saying, Hey, you life is a collection of experiences and their intensity. And you can create the intensity of those experiences by how you approach life as most of you are. Reluctantly approaching life like people are asking you for things and this, and you're like, and you, and you reluctantly do it.
And so one guy in the audience. Somehow this message just hits home with him, so he goes home. and he shares the story later with Jim Roh, which is why we know the story. But he goes home and he realizes that over the, his relationship with, he has two teenage daughters and his relationship with his teenage daughters is such that they'll beg him for stuff, be like, Hey, we want to go to this concert.
And you know, he's an older guy and he is like, oh, stupid, I don't wanna, you know, I want a fork out. 40 bucks. And this was a while ago, 40 concert now to be like 150, but you know, so $150 to go to this concert. And so his daughters would bake him and bake him and bake him until he finally gave in. Paid the minimum amount of money for the cheapest tickets, and they'd go and, and it wasn't, it wasn't really relationship building.
He was reluctantly giving in to this request. So his daughter, sure, they went to their thing, they had a good time, and they were probably like, thanks dad. But in the end, it's not really building a, a loving, trusting, amazing relationship, and it's not creating an experience. And so he decides he's gonna change the way he approach.
So he, he knows who his daughters like, what musicians they like. And so he goes to the trouble of buying tickets in advance several months in advance of this concert coming up. His daughters haven't even asked him yet, right? So he's like, before my daughters have begged me even a little bit, goes and buys the tickets, gets them like, you know, he pays an extra 10 or $15 for each ticket, so they get this opportunity to go talk to the band beforehand or whatever and get this backstage experience.
And then he plans like he's gonna drive him there, he's gonna surprise 'em. And, and it all comes down to he surprises them with these tickets and he drives them to the concert, drops 'em off, picks 'em up. They have this grand experience. The daughters are just over the moon excited, hugging their dad and a memory and experience they'll never forget.
And it took $15 more than he would've. and a little extra time driving and giving, spending more time with his daughters going to and from this concert. But the overall experience and the relationship building that it did was beyond anything he could have done otherwise. Right? It's like all, and that's with the same, essentially the same raw materials.
We can weave a tapestry rather than just make a rug. It's like, if we're gonna have this life, why are we not making it? and, and it doesn't take that much more. It might take a little bit more energy, maybe a little bit more money, and occasionally a lot more money if you wanna make it really cool. But the idea is with the same base materials, you can create an experience that's really relationship building and a lasting memory rather than just another moment of.
Sheldon Mills: and I, so I think there's, there's several nuances in different aspects of this. I mean, you're talking about a, you know, a pre-planned event, a thing to do to try and foster relationship, right?
Mm-hmm. , but we were talking a lot about this. It's like, how do we take. and makes, you know, $5 more than $5, right? Mm-hmm. taking the same situations that we're used to day in, day out. Okay? Father of six, the bedtime routine is a day in day out thing, right? How do I take that from sometimes like, frustrating for the seventh time I was pleased, like, you know, brush your teeth and do this and that.
Jeff Corrigan: No, I will not read a seventh book. Like, let's time for bed.
Sheldon Mills: How do we, I think perhaps even more long lasting is like, how do we take some of these routine things, right? These conversations with our spouse on the phone while we're driving, or the stuff that happens daily and make them special, make them, you know, show up a little bit more and make it
Jeff Corrigan: more meaningful and impactful.
Yeah. And that's where I think it meets the rubber meets the road here. It's like we can create these cool experiences. Yes, take vacations, do fun concerts, whatever those types of things are. Entertainment type things. But like Sheldon's saying, far more valuable are the everyday moments that we make just a little bit better.
Cuz those are the things right now that are causing so much friction and, and annoyance and frustration in our life and in our relationships are, we're feeling, we're feeling distracted. We're not wanting to be involved in certain aspects. Like, oh, let's, what do we want for dinner?
It's like those types of things that, that turn out to be kind of challenging conversations. Maybe this is just me exposing my , my flaw, but I think everybody has those types of things in their life that just feel like, oh, it's just like constantly I go through the same routine and it's always annoying every day that I have to think about this thing where we, we feel like there's an approach you can take.
That can transform these moments and, and make them better, and where you can show up a little bit differently and approach life from a different angle. Yeah.
Sheldon Mills: And we've, we, we, again, we dug into this episode a little bit, much, little bit more than usual perhaps cuz we like . I'm sad about it, showing up with Pep, p e p and that stands for being prepared.
Excited and present. And let's, let's, we're gonna dig into each one a little bit. Showing up with pep, right? Yes. You wanna start us off, Jeff? Prepared? Yeah.
Jeff Corrigan: So, so the best way to show up a little differently is to use this acronym pep, like show up with pep. And that sounds cheesy, but I'm a cheesy guy. So you go.
Showing up with PEP is prepared first. It's something you've put some thought. And we really talked about the nuance of preparedness is there's actually two levels of preparedness. There's one that's like the guy we, yeah, there's at least two, right? There's one, like we talked about with the guy who he buys the concert tickets in advance and he gets his daughters to the thing.
But then there's another level of preparedness, which is everyday preparedness. It's the consistency of your habits, which we talk about a lot on this show of exercise, of health, of brushing your teeth, of all of those things, of leading love notes for your spouse. Of doing the little things for your kids to be there for them that really pay dividends on the, in the long run.
It's having that infinite view rather than a what, what is in for me, right? What's in it for me now into a situation where like Sheldon for example, was talking to him and I was like, Sheldon, you work out and exercise every day, and now if your kids ever want to go play and they want to go jump and they wanna go run and throw Frisbees and play sports, you're always.
you're always ready to be there in that moment because of your healthy habits. So there's two levels to this, right, at least that we're gonna talk about on this show, which is you've put some thought into this moment and in some cases you've been consistently building habits to create this moment. Cuz there are a lot of people in the world who can't just willy-nilly go play with their kids, right?
That's like their kids are like, let's go run to mile kid, let's go jump. And basketball. It's like maybe they can't health-wise, there's just not a place to. And that comes back to preparedness. It's like showing up is about being prepared. It's taking ownership of that part of your life. . So co and it also entails coming with purpose.
I don't mean to go on too long. Sheldon Wells. You got, you're good.
Sheldon Mills: Well, I, I was just say there's like the situational things, which again, I wanna get better at showing up to being better prepared for, right? Yeah. But then there's the long-term preparedness of just like the habits you live and like the, the life you live of, of setting you up to be able to be present, to be mm-hmm.
excited and engaged to be in this situation in the moment, to be able to.
Jeff Corrigan: Yeah. And I want you guys to consider, as you think of preparedness, think about, okay, how can I be prepared differently using no extra money, right? Yeah. It's like, so this isn't about, oh, I always spend more money on something. No, it's like, or with a little extra money.
Or even in the case with a little extra effort, it's like, Where, where can I adjust the way that I approach, like with my wife, with planning dinners, I can just come with five or six ideas every night. , right? It's like that level of preparedness, which doesn't take me very long, could be, could be bring us a whole level of peace and happiness in our conversation.
On my way home from work when it's like we already have an idea and plan ready , it seems like something I shouldn't be haggling with every day anymore. I could just be ready and prepared with several ideas. Like, here's what I'm thinking. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Whether we go with 'em or not, at least I bring something to the table.
Yeah. So. ,
Sheldon Mills: We talked about prepared. You know, we talked about like this garden metaphor, right? If you haven't taken care of the garden, you can't really show up as well because like you're stretched to be like paper thin. Mm-hmm. , you know what I mean? Like, it's your, your mental health, your spiritual health, your physical health.
Like that is part of being prepared, being able to show up is, is taking care of the garden so that you can
Jeff Corrigan: show up. Absolutely. Yep. That's, and that's really about like those daily habits, right? Is keeping your, keeping your life in a place where you're able to show up in those moments. Yeah. Let's go, let's go.
Move on too. So excited.
Sheldon Mills: Excited and well we, you talked about this one, we used two or different words, engaged or excited. And I think depending on the situation, like one works a little better than the other with excited. Cuz excited is a little more exciting.
there go. Yes. But I think to really show up in a relationship and wherever you're at, you gotta be excited to be. Right. I mean, you could be prepared and, but if you're just like a, just a wet blanket, man. , . So true. Right? And, and we talk about all three of these, right? Being prepared, excited, and present if you really wanna make it like amazing.
But honestly, if you're just excited to be there, that is showing up in a different and better and a higher. You don't need everything.
Jeff Corrigan: And there may be times, and we were talking about this, where you, you show up and you're not prepared, but you're excited and you're present and that's enough.
Yeah. Like if you're just there and you're ready to listen, right. It's like not everything requires a ton of preparedness. , let's just say that. Now a lot of things do and they are gonna be better if you're prepared, but there will be those moments when you show up and unexpectedly something happens.
Those moments, a lot of times there are those moments, right? things we did not expect, that we couldn't have prepared for, will be there. And that's when it requires you to just show up to be engaged and present. Like I'm here, right? Especially in relat. , that's when it really counts, and something that I've not always been very strong in.
So that's one thing I'm working on, is how to be present and engaged even when I'm not prepared, or I feel like it's coming outta left field and as they say, yeah, and
Sheldon Mills: again, we've separated these out a little bit because they, they, I feel like there's a lot of similarity there, being present and engaged, like those are almost synonyms, but excited and engaged.
It's almost like. You can level up the situation simply by changing your attitude, right? Absolutely. If you change and say like, alright. I'm just gonna be excited about this. You show up that, that that is showing up and, and all it took was like a difference in perception in how you approach something and literally telling yourself like, I'm gonna be happy and excited to be here.
Jeff Corrigan: Right? Yeah. There really is something to the old, turn that frown upside down idea, right? , I, I used to work in a corporate job and we'd do conventions. And there was we'd go and we'd have to like, unpack everything and of course not. Hi, Lily , not very. Here's the unexpected. Right now. How are we gonna handle
Sheldon Mills: this?
Hey Lily. Hi . She is so cute. If you can't see her, you can go to YouTube and see this, but, she is so adorable. She comes and drops in in our conversations all the time. Hi.
Jeff Corrigan: Okay, we're recording a message. Can I have a high five? Yeah, you can show him your dress. Here. Come here .
Sheldon Mills: Let's see your dress. Oh, whose dress is that?
Aurora. Aurora. Okay.
Jeff Corrigan: Lily. That's pretty Dress is like a princess every day now, which is, that's what she wants.
Sheldon Mills: Are you gonna twirl? I wanna see a twirl. Show a
Jeff Corrigan: twirl. Twirl it up, Lily. . Yes. Nice. She's all show a showman. She's not shy. That's awesome. Give me a kiss. I gotta be on the call. I'm showing him
Sheldon Mills: my dances.
That was awesome. Two thumbs up. He says, great
Jeff Corrigan: job. Okay. Love you, Lily. She
Sheldon Mills: can't hear me, but she saw my smiley face. She did
Jeff Corrigan: speak. Speaking of unexpected. There you go. That's all of life. When you have toddlers, , it's like toddlers, Newports, infants, all kids. If you're a parent, you know what that means.
So, but, but the other thing that I thought was cool about this is that really makes life more exciting and is making your focus other people centered. Not only is that the best way to give a presentation or a speech, it's also there's the best way to show up in life. Yeah. Like, how can I make things better for those.
When we're us focused, we tend to gripe and complain about what's not right and things like that. And I've been in that situation. We've all been there. You know, you get snarky, you're making fun of things. You're like, oh, why is this happening? , but the moment you flip that switch and you make other people focused and you make it, it's like, how can I make this fun for everybody?
Right? How can I make this more enjoyable? For my kids, for my wife, for, you know, and, and you can't, you can't control the way they're going to react. But the moment you bring higher energy and better attitude, like Sheldon was saying, if you will change, everything will change for you. And I absolutely believe that 1000000%.
And I've seen it when I've worked conventions where everybody's just in the doldrums, the mundane task, da da da. And you can make it so fun just by bringing a better attitude. It's like, all right, let's kick this out guys. How fast can we do this thing ? It's like, yeah, or whatever you wanna do. I, I love this excited and engaged because it's just, it brings a lot of power to everything you're a part of.
Sheldon Mills: Really. This one's about attitude, right? And, but the attitude you need to bring is being excited, , and engaged,
Jeff Corrigan: , last, be present. Present. Okay. So with this one, It, almost goes without saying, but I think it's something that's so valuable in our world today because it's so easy to be distracted. Mm-hmm. , we can easily be distracted by our phones, by work left, you know, like emails.
Everything in the world is trying to distract us right now and being present is a lost art
and it's something that is really. Hard for relationships to get by. Right. I, I feel like even with my kids and with my wife in, in the moments that I am there with them, you can be in a room and not be present. Right. You can be in a car with someone and definitely not be present. I see that all the time.
As I drive home for work, I look around at the other vehicles and there's two people in the car. One of 'em is looking at their phone in inevitably. Right. Or there's a whole table of people and all of them are looking at their phones. They're all there, but none of them are present. It is, it's the scourge of our generation of this, maybe not even our generation, but this like time period.
It's like that we're, we're there, but not, but not aware. , I dunno if that's distraction. Yeah. Just so many opportunities to be distracted. To be entertained. I, I talked about with this with my boys and actually met a kid yesterday, he's about 16 years old. We were driving home from a trip to Las Vegas with her family, and we stopped in to grab some ice cream at this awesome ice cream spot and the kid working at the counter.
he just look like a normal everyday kid. And he's funny. He's like, Hey, how are you guys doing? Like, what, what are you guys on? Where are you coming from? And he just got all chatty, right? Which is very uncommon for a teenager to usually like be really engaged in asking you everything about your life. So I was like, Hey man, we're coming from Vegas.
We went to NASCAR race, yada, yada, yada. And I'm like, what about you? Like, how are things, what's going on here? Like, what, what are you into? And he's like, oh, he told me he's into martial arts, right? He does. , TaeKwonDo. And I started asking him all about it. And he said, yeah, well, I was like, how did you get, and he lives in a small town, so I was like, well, so you don't, so you don't hunt, but you do TaeKwonDo.
That's pretty rare for these parts, right? ? Like you live in a small town. And he's like, yeah, like I just, I was always just playing video games and I'm like, I wanna do something real. Right. And it's shocking to find these days because, , it's so acceptable to just be like, sucked away into media and games and, and movies and things.
And he was just like, forget this. Like, I wanna do something real with my life. and video games is not it. So he started doing TaeKwonDo and now he's got this goal to be a black belt and to be an MMA fighter. I'm like, oh, so you're gonna like. I don't wanna be an MMA fighter, but I thought it was really cool that he's like totally passionate about this, right?
Yeah. This skinny 16 year old kid. He is like, I'm gonna be a fighter and I'm gonna learn everything, all these. He's like, first I'm gonna learn TaeKwonDo, and then I'm gonna lu juujitsu, then I'm gonna learn judo. He's like, and then I'm gonna be an MMA fighter. So I got all these tools in my belt, , and it was just, it was such a cool moment and I, and it was that one of those moments where you're fully present.
With someone who you didn't expect to be right. It's like, yeah, I, I was there. I wasn't distracted by my phone. He didn't, I wasn't distracted by his phone. And he's found something in his life that allows him to be fully present, which I thought was really cool. So I don't know if that example fits perfectly, but I think it's, it's a key to our generation is like figuring out how to be present and not distracted.
Sheldon Mills: Amen to that.
My daughter . Okay. She'll never hear this. . Maybe, yeah, someday. She has this thing where she's like, I'm bored, . And I, I always push her on this cause I'm like, There's not for a lack of things to do, you're choosing. We're just saying, no, you can't watch another show or play a video game
You know what I mean? Right. And she said some comment to my wife and was like, ah, it's cuz you have a phone on your phone all day or something like that. And my wife and I was like, what? Like this is some stats we hadn't quite heard before. Yeah. And, and my wife and I, we literally don't have games on our phone.
Right? Yeah. Like it is a tool that we use, and don't get me wrong, like I'm not always hundred percent, but
Jeff Corrigan: on the bell curve, we all overuse it. ,
Sheldon Mills: but that's, yeah. On the bell curve of, of too much versus, you know, about the right amount. I'm much more closer to the right 'em outside. Do you know what I mean?
Like, yeah. I use, I put it away when I, you know, it's not like in my pocket. I'm not sitting around the house and on the couch with, with my phone in front of my face all the time when my kid's all around. But it was one of those just like, oh man, , the ire came up quick.
Jeff Corrigan: Whoa, wait a minute. Whoa. It's funny because
Sheldon Mills: Carl, he's
Jeff Corrigan: This is something I say to my kids all the time, , when they say they're bored. I'm like, well, boring people get bored, right? ? It's like and it's just funny. They all get really annoyed with me nowadays when I say it.
But it's, it in my mind. It's true. Cuz I've, I can't think of a time I've been bored in the last 20 years. You just find things you're interested in. Right. It's like a, and it's not, and like you said, it's not TV or entertainment, like those things, they're just so fleeting and it's a couple minutes here or there.
And yes, I do watch a show with my wife occasionally, but the max we ever watch is 45 minutes of TV in a day. Right. It's like we watch one show, maybe an hour if it's a long episode or something,
Sheldon Mills: this is all going back to being present the dirt of cell phones and mass entertainment that's so accessible and so distracting.
Sometimes you gotta put the phone away.
Jeff Corrigan: Yep. And even in the case of like you guys where you're not using your phones all the time, even your kids seeing you use the phones sometimes can feel like, right. It's, she's not present.
Sheldon Mills: I need to be even less, like if we're together mm-hmm. , it just sits on the counter.
You know what I mean? And if someone really needs me, they can call a couple times.
Jeff Corrigan: Right. Yeah. Well, I know I have, I have a pretty good rule in. In my life now, where after about five or six o'clock, I just leave the phone in the other room. Yeah. And I'll often take my watch off too, because I hate getting notifications on my watch anyways.
But , I'll leave that in the other room. And you know what? If it's desperately urgent, I'll see you later. . Yeah. I don't know. There's like, the world thinks now that you have to be available at all times, but just 15 years ago before smartphones, people weren't a. They didn't answer their phone, you couldn't get ahold of 'em, and you had to figure it out.
And nowadays it's like you can text 'em anytime and it's always right there. And when I have my phone on me, I respond immediately. But generally speaking, If I don't get it until the next day, so be it. Right? It's like it's, if it's not a fire burning down the building, which should be not a call to me anyways.
it's probably not worth, yeah, you get the point. So I think we've, we've all just been so tied to our phones and that we have to respond immediately. Like you don't have to be on the line at all times. And in fact, being present is more important than being available. To everybody externally, right? Like being present in the moment with the people who are in front of you is by, and we sound like old people when we're talking about this , but it's only because it's, it's become such a problem and it's, it's hurting your relationships.
It's hurting everyone's relationships.
Sheldon Mills: Well, I, I've heard this talked about for several people who just, like, when they're there, they just fill the room. Not in terms of personality, but it's like when you're with them, you're the most important thing, right? Yeah. They're focused on you, right? They're showing up and they're present with you, and that makes you feel like a million dollars.
It makes you feel. Validated, like seen. And if you want your children to like dramatic changes in your children, it's like instead of going to the park and being on your phone while they're playing mm-hmm. put the phone away and play with them. Right? Yeah. Love that is showing
Jeff Corrigan: up. Yeah. Love is like what we talked about earlier and another episode.
Love is spelled time and attention. Right? It's not just time, it's not t i m e. Time is is something that we can be and not be right. It's the same time , you can be in the same room as someone, not be giving 'em your. Yeah. And that, and that's, so now it's about, it's really about time and attention together. , that's what presence really comes down to. And actually, what, if you guys have ever seen that, that movie that Tom Hanks was in about Mr. Rogers Right. Fred Rogers, one of the most important moments in that movie that I remember was that he was al, he always gave his attention to the person right in front of him or the person he was on the phone with, right?
Like that, that built so much trust. and, goodwill with people that he was available for them in the moment. Right. The guy calls him up and he is like, Hey, are you busy? Like, he's like, he's like, well, no, I'm talking to you. Right? Like . I wouldn't have picked up the phone if I was busy and, and I felt like that's just a great way to live, right?
And it's made me wanna be better, and I'm not that way yet. Don't get me wrong. Right. I'm not, I'm not the Frederick Rogers level of, of presence, but I definitely want to get there. I think that's like you just said. When you come into a room and people just know you're there for, Yeah, that you're in a conversation.
They know you're listening, and I've, I'm kind of a distracted person, so it's, it's gonna be hard for me, , but I'm gonna work on it just
Sheldon Mills: to keep each other accountable on this, Jeff, because I feel, even though I've created these habits, trying to put my phone away, stuff like that, like I, even in my own thoughts, I can be a very distracted person, right?
Mm-hmm. in this situation, it's like showing up for my kids. And when I'm done with work and I'm home, I'm. Right. Mm-hmm. , I think that's the, the meaning of balance, right? It's like you never, you never have all the, you can't juggle everything at once. You have to focus on what you can juggle right now,
Right. You know what I mean? It's like that's balance. That's great. It's, it's just like be present and when it's time to be work at work. Work when it's time to be home. Be home. Mm-hmm. in mind and body.
Jeff Corrigan: Right. Yeah. No, that's a great point. I love it. All right. So let, let's put this down into like, okay, now how do I do this?
Right? Like what, and we've already talked a little bit about, obviously show up with pep. I think preparedness, excited and engaged and present, like those are the key, the three keys to making this, making better experiences in your life and creating memories outta moments instead of just, and, and honestly just being present and available for people and building better relationships.
Jim Roan quote, and I'm gonna figure out a way to put it in because I love it. He says, we must all suffer from one of two pains. The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. The discipline of showing up differently will pay dividends forever. Right? Like the discipline of showing up with pep, or even with a couple of pieces of pep, whether it's preparedness and ex engaged, or it's presence, or it's just simply presence.
It will pay dividends in your relationships forever. Because it really does, and, and the thing you will regret most in your life will be the relationships that you did not nurture, right? The ones that you should have nurtured, and there are those relationships you don't wanna keep anymore. We know those, right?
And those that should get rid of. But generally speaking, the close relationships with your family, with your kids, with your siblings, those people in your life that mean the most, your closest friends. Those relationships are worth a whole lot more than we give them credit for. And it makes you think anyway.
So discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. A little bit of discipline goes a long way to making not only relationships better, but your whole life better. Yeah.
Sheldon Mills: So Jeff, and actually I, I have Jeff talk you through this because, I feel like he's dug into this. I like to listen to Jeff talk more than I like to listen to myself talk.
He's got a good exercise on where to begin and what to do. You know, how to apply this, and this is really effective. I'll, I'll interject things as well, but I wanna hear. Keep going, Jeff. Keep going. . I go.
Jeff Corrigan: Keep going. Yes. And it's like, well, listen, my own sound. Sound of my own voice. Okay. The exercise to put this into practice showing up with pep is first where to begin, right?
So where, where should you begin? Honestly, anywhere in your normal routine that you regularly encounter friction or like frustration or distraction, those areas, and you know what they are because you repeat it every day. But you might have to actually think about, okay, where do I feel. I repeat this every day and it's just like banging my head against the wall,
I'm like, why do I do this? I'm putting my kids to bed every night and I'm frustrated. Wouldn't you rather have it be a nice experience, right? What if it could be, what if it could be better or I, I get on a phone call with my wife and it's frustrating. It's like, why? Well, shouldn't it not be frustrating?
Do you wanna talk to your spouse? Right? So what to do, right? The next step is what do you do? Well, eliminate friction by changing how you show up. So bring prep to the pep to that situation. How can you prepare? It's like with my daughter, she's four years old and she hates going. And, and anything she can do to extend bedtime.
So just drive, you know, I shouldn't say it drives us crazy because we choose to be driven crazy, but,, it's, we get frustrated and we're like, ah, and it should be this nice, peaceful experience. Like, ah, I put my daughter to bed and it was so nice and we read a book and , you know, all, unicorns and rainbows or whatever you wanna call it, but it ends up being like, ah, kid.
And you're like, I'm gonna lock you in if you don't , stop extending this. We wouldn't do that, by the way, but, you know, empty threats as poor parenting goes. But, And so now some of the times the better way to do it for us is when we repair a little in advance. We put her, we, we help her get her jammies on earlier.
We make it this fun experience, like, oh my gosh, let's get your princess jammies on and da da da da da. And then you, you, you saw like, Hey, we get our teeth brushed now when bedtime comes, we'll be able to read two books instead of just one. And you just offering up different ways to make it more exciting for her and for us.
and it's just, there's a better way to approach any experience in your life. And it doesn't have to be with toddlers, it doesn't have to be with a spouse. It can be in anything. How are you gonna approach your boss? Is it always frustrating to talk to your boss? Right? Well, what can you do differently? How can you show up differently?
Because the moment you change, as Jim Ron likes to say, and we like Jim Ro a lot, obviously , everything will change for you, right? Yeah. And that's what showing up differently does is it changes your world. not just you. And that's the cool part. So what do you wanna interject here? I can, I can sense, well, , you got
Sheldon Mills: a thought.
Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change, right. As we were going through this, you know, and how to show up, and these are the, I'm sure there's more ways to show up, but Pat being prepared, being excited and engaged, being present. Right. I really, this is kind of a weird question if you think about it.
It's like, well, where's their tension in your life? Because that's not. where I think most people would've gone like, where is, where's the struggle happening? Right? Yeah. And you know, what part of your day or relationship still has that little bit of like weird tension, right? Yeah. I just was like, okay.
I was thinking about, and don't get me wrong, so if there is conflict in life in a relationship, nothing is. I think there's this a lie that if, if two people conflict is inevitable because you and your spouse aren't the same person. Right. . Yeah.
Jeff Corrigan: That's when it turns into you have different expectations.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sheldon Mills: Right. So that's, you know, I've heard about marriages, like kids relationships. It's an engine for growth. Right. So there's nothing wrong. Mm-hmm. , but I was just thinking about, okay, this certain situation that, wasn't dreading. Cause I don't dread, you know, talking with my wife, but it was like a little bit of apprehension and part of me was like, why am I worried?
Like this is an opportunity to connect with my spouse, learn how I can improve, you know what I mean? Like, and, and it's just all of a sudden I, I the feeling of anxious. literally disappeared almost immediately when all of a sudden I was looking at it different and I was like, mm-hmm. , instead of being showing up, like apprehension, I'm gonna show up excited.
I'm excited to talk. I'm excited to learn about whatever we need to talk about. Right. Yeah.
Jeff Corrigan: No, that's a, that's excellent. Right, and I think the other, one of the keys to this is where you can apply. First focus on relationships, because I think that's the area that's gonna be bring the most value and experience to your life is when you like what do they say?
Happiness is nothing if it's not shared right. Or something like that. I just butchered that quote. But like there's happiness is nothing if it's not shared, essentially. And that means it's gotta be connected to someone. And I feel like that's so true. Like families, friends, neighbors, coworkers, bosses, clients, God, right?
All of those people, the relationships you're holding start there. Right? It's like where to apply with them, , whatever that relationship like even with yourself in the mirror, right? I know that sounds weird, but with the affirmations we've talked about soundtracks things in the past, that's a very vital part to start.
Cuz if you're constantly giving yourself negative feedback, that's an area you can show up with pep. What if you're excited to see yourself in the mirror every. I haven't thought about that.
Sheldon Mills: Like how do you, how do you show up a little more prepared to talk to yourself in the mirror? You know, how do you a little more present and engaged or excited instead of being, you know, I think a lot of us, maybe, maybe everybody, this is probably universal, man.
We just, we'd never talk to anybody the way we talk to ourselves, right? , we just beat ourselves up. So a little more excited to be like, no, no, no. This isn't, I haven't screwed up yet again. This, I get, I get to learn, I get to change. I get to grow, you know, like a growth mindset.
Jeff Corrigan: Yep. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and, and really. I think giving yourself the chance to, to succeed where you in the past have, have not I is great in, in pep talking yourself and showing up with Pep, honestly, it's like, Hey, you can do this, you can do it differently. You can be different. You can show up different as, as of this moment, you can choose who you wanna be okay, so. The other part of this is that I don't want everybody to feel like, Hey, this has to be overwhelming and is big thing. Like start small, right? If it's just one of the Ps and one or the E that you can bring to the table in the moment, do that. It's like, and it's all just about consciously choosing to show up differently.
That's the biggest thing with all of this, is like I'm gonna make an intentional conscious effort. Intentional, conscious. That probably seems like redundant, but intentional, conscious effort to show up. More excited. I'm gonna make a conscious effort to be more. , I'm gonna make a conscious effort to be more prepared.
Any one of those three in any circumstance in your life is great practice. Yeah. And all a habit is, is practice day in and day out.
Sheldon Mills: I, so if you've listened this far, God bless you, . Yeah. And thank you. We've gone on, and if you've enjoyed it, please share it. But if you've listened this far, I guarantee there has been at least one thing, one area, one idea that has popped into your mind, and you've had a thought of how you can show up and be more prepared for this situation and how you can be more excited and engaged, how you can be more present.
Like, write that down. I, I guess my challenge to you is not just, I mean, thinking about this, discussing this is. , but literally write down the situation and what you're gonna do. Yeah. Because the likelihood of it actually changing next time. Skyrockets if you take that one extra step, right? Yeah. Make a decision by writing it down consciously.
What one thing, what little thing, maybe big thing. Maybe several things, but one, one thing have you thought of? Cause I guarantee during you've listened this far . Yeah. Something has come across your mind,
Jeff Corrigan: right? Yeah. Well, and it's like taking the same raw materials, right? , a beautiful painting
the materials are no different than a really poor painting . It's like, it's like it comes down to the brushstrokes, like how much care are you taking in creating an experience of your life that you wanna actually live? This is your life, right? It's like, and the, and right now you get to choose how to live it.
And in every moment you get to choose how to live it. And with a little preparation, with a slightly more engagement and excite. and with some presence it can be a whole lot better for you and for those around you. So with that, is there anything we wanna say further? Sheldon, we've, we've talked a lot on this
Sheldon Mills: I, this episode was so important. We felt this was so important. We actually rearranged a little bit, so this could be our 100th episode. We've hit a hundred episodes. That's exciting for us. Just that we've lasted this.
Jeff Corrigan: Endurance. That's endurance
Sheldon Mills: consistency. Right. And the, the podcast has grown and we're going to, can you try and grow it?
And so thank you for being a part of this journey with us. Like it has been amazing. We're, we hope we're getting better, we're trying to be better. We appreciate your feedback and sharing this with people. We think this idea that we, we had today, you know, discussion we've had is very powerful. Mm-hmm. , and if you've enjoyed it, we, we ask you to please don't hide it.
You know, share it with somebody who also would love to know how to show up a little bit more in their life.
Jeff Corrigan: Yeah. And if you're gonna do this, like, we have a tapestry. Don't just make a rug like this, like you, it's a collection of experiences. Everything's made up of little parts, and those experiences happen every day.
and, I think if we, if we discount even one day, we're kind of missing out on the chance to make our life that much better and our tapestry that much more beautiful. Right? It's like, but then again, we miss a day. It's okay. Those mistakes and those little like flaws in the tapestry, no one notices them because you've built it so much more beautiful along the way.
like there's ups and downs. Yeah. Yeah. You guys, thank you so much for listening. We really appreciate you all for making it this far with us into our hundredth episode. There will be many more to come, some great guests coming along the way. If you loved last week with Jeremy Eley, more people like that will be on the show it's been a rollercoaster of excitement and. I wouldn't change even one single moment. , it's been so fun. You sound like we're like leaving you forever, but this is just the beginning folks. This is and in fact, , if you check out our course, we actually have a little tool in there called the Action Catalyst that helps you basically what Sheldon was saying, like, write it down.
When and where and how you're gonna do this next show up with a little more pep and that makes you that much more likely to do it. So don't leave this episode without jotting down. This is where I'm gonna show up slightly differently in my life. That's, that's what you need to take away from this.
And if you haven't left this review, please go do it, because it really gives us the great feedback to know, Hey, this is working for some people. We're trying to get to a hundred reviews on Apple podcasts. We also have a. Newsletter, A new newsletter. That sounds really cool. New, A new newsletter that we, magic Mondays.
Yeah, magic Monday. That we release on Mondays because Fridays are already great. We want to give you a boost at the first of the week. It's a micro dose of inspiration. It's only two to three minute read if that, and it just gives you a little nugget to think about throughout the week. And we'd love, for you to join that list and we'll give you 20% off our course.
If you do. You guys are amazing. It's time to start living your best life.
